Where Does the Poop Go?

I wish I had written down everything my kids said when they were little. Sometimes, they were prophetic, and sometimes, they were hilarious. I started thinking about it today.

I walked into the supermarket and grabbed a cart. I passed by this adorable little girl with her mom and grandmom. She was dressed in a little princess costume, right down to the tiara on her head. Her sash said, "TODAY I AM 4 YEARS OLD."

You could see how happy she was. I walked by and said, “Happy Birthday, you look beautiful!” She got a surprised expression, turned to her mom and said, “Wow, how did she know!” I thought it was adorable.

That reminded me of another recent incident at the doctor’s office. I had just gotten to the waiting room and realized I had to use the bathroom. I walked down the hall to the ladies' room. There was a row of 5 toilets or so. I chose a stall and heard in the stall next to me a child who started sobbing. Standing before the stall, her mom asked her what was happening. She said, “Where does the poopy go?” Her mother asked her to repeat it. This time she shouted between the sobs, “Where does the poopy go.” Suddenly, I realized what her problem was. A sign on the back of the door read, don’t flush anything down the toilet! She had taken it quite seriously. I yelled to the mom about the sign. I was sorry to laugh, but you would never have thought a child would take the sign so seriously. It became funnier as the mom was trying to explain that she could just flush the poop and toilet paper and that it was OK!

When I taught school, I heard many innocent misunderstandings, but the ones I remember were from my children.

My daughter and son were watching a TV show. The actor John Davidson was interviewed, and he was asked his age.

My daughter checked with my son, who confirmed whatever age he said. She turned around, looked at me seriously and asked, “Mom, has he always been older than you?”

I understand kids tend to think of their parents as very old. I once asked my Mother if she lived in a log cabin!

One day, while returning from a ride to my in-law's house, my son asked us if “Nonny and Poppy” were rich.

I can understand why they would think that. They had a lovely home, and they traveled often.

I answered that they were comfortable. A minute later, he asked, “Mom, does that mean we are uncomfortable?”

I also learned that children do not understand sarcasm. I always try to curb my sarcasm around kids, but sometimes it slips out. I remember an incident in one of my early classrooms.

I had two chores for the students to complete after their lesson. Each child had the appropriate work in front of them. While they worked, I took different reading groups to our “reading round” table. I had a full view of all the kids. One girl stared at her desk. I interrupted the group and asked if everything was OK. She answered, “Oh, are we supposed to start?” It was not my finest moment, but the sarcasm slipped through, and I said, “No, we are waiting for Christmas.” I regretted it the moment I said it. The child just continued to sit there.

I excused myself from the group and told them to read silently ( haha). I approached the girl and told her that she should start now, and I was trying to make a joke that was not funny. I apologized. She had no emotion whatsoever, and began working.

I couldn’t help but notice a slight smug expression on her face as I walked away. I returned to the reading group and asked if anyone had finished reading. With a big smile, one child looked at me and said, “I thought we were waiting for Christmas!”