That Time I learned I’m Weird

I realized something about the world when I was only four years old.

Because I was always very short, even as a four-year-old, and all through my life, people always thought I was younger than my actual age.

This made a huge difference when I was a child, a teenager and a young adult. Everyone thought I was very smart! People who first met me were so impressed by how I could read and that I knew so many things. When my true age and appearance leveled out, I was no longer perceived as so smart. Too bad, I was starting to believe it myself!

It wasn’t so much about intellect; it was about things, two in particular, that were part of me. Until I started to tell my parents or mention it to others, I thought everyone could hear and see what I did.

I remember the hearing first. My bedroom windows faced into an alley between the house I lived in and the next one over. We were in a city neighborhood in Brooklyn. Early in the morning, I would hear trains in the distance. I mentioned it to my parents and was told there were no trains anywhere in the area. I insisted that early in the morning, I heard the trains. I was told to stop making up stories! Hah! Maybe a premonition about my current “career.”

I insisted and decided I would wake them up to hear the trains. Neither my mother, father or sister heard the trains. My father was curious about what I thought I heard. He did a little research and found that, indeed, there was a commercial train that passed daily at 5:30 in the morning, about 3 miles from our house. The tracks were in a marshland and were for commercial use. No one would ever see a train pass unless they were specifically looking at the right time. We rode there to verify the tracks, but no one wanted to go so early in the morning to see the train pass. In the daytime, with the noises from cars and people and other ambient noises, I couldn’t even hear the trains. No trains ran during the evening and nighttime hours.

I heard the morning train go through that little window of possibility. When I was in High School, my hearing ability got me into trouble. In a physics lab, the teacher was demonstrating sound waves. The machine presented different tones at different volumes. He decided to “test” everyone’s hearing and had us raise our hands when we heard the sound. Before long, some kids dropped out of the “game” until I was the only one left. The teacher became annoyed and told me it was impossible, and I couldn’t hear it. So, he had me turn around. He presented the sounds at odd intervals. He made the sound. I raised my hand. He lost his temper! He announced I was cheating, and he didn’t know how and stopped the demonstration. It's too bad he didn’t go a little further; I wouldn’t have been able to hear much more. Well, that “gift” is long gone. I just hear normally now! Not a permanent gift, just a quirky one!

The second phenomenon was seeing auras. I had no idea what I was looking at. I assumed everyone saw the pulsating colored lights emanating from people. The first time I said anything about it was when my mother’s colors weren’t usual. I had no idea she had pain and was suffering from gallstones. My mom hardly ever complained. She was stoic. Again, I was told to stop making things up. I asked my sister if she saw lights around people, and she told me I was an alien! I guess I could have been! It drove me crazy that I couldn’t see the colors around myself.

My mom finally had her gallbladder removed. I was about 5. It was a long procedure back then, and Mom was out of the house for at least five days. After a while, her colors assumed their normal pattern and color. I never told her. I learned not to say anything to anyone because then everyone would bug me about their “aura.” Over the years, I have used it a few times with people I know well, just to check on how they felt. I am usually right. This “gift,” too, is slowly diminishing. I still see the auras, but I have to look for them. I also see the pulses but less of the colors.

I occasionally take things from my background, like these two examples and incorporate them into my novels. I still believe that seeing auras is possible for everyone.