Five Year Plan

Although my husband enjoyed his teaching career ( some years a lot more than others), his ultimate goal was to retire from teaching and devote himself to composing—and, honestly, golf! In his younger days, he was very athletic, excelling in tennis and playing neighborhood touch football on fall and winter Sunday mornings.

Five years extended into eight years, as the kids were in college and finding their paths forward. We carefully planned financially, ensuring our kids could get through college without incurring debt. After college, as each would attend either graduate school or medical school, they had to rely on scholarships and student loans. We would help out as things arose, but it was a little breathing room for us now to do some of the things we had always wanted to do and to relocate out of New York.

Sometimes, it felt like we had one foot in the previous life and the foot in the future.

We weren’t sure where to relocate, but one thing we were certain of: it would not be Florida! My parents lived in Florida for 14 years. It was delightful to see them once a year on the winter break, but nothing other than a brief respite from the cold appealed to us about it.

By the time we were ready, both my parents had passed away. My in-laws still lived in New Rochelle, and we were conflicted about whether we should leave them. Suddenly, my mother-in-law died, leaving my father-in-law alone. He was nine years older than she was. Between the shock of her death and the death of his oldest daughter, my sister-in-law, he started to escape into a world of dementia. We couldn’t leave him now, so he had to accompany us!

Several years before we planned to move, hubby and I traveled south to find our forever home. Two things were necessary: there had to be a good symphony orchestra, and it had to be golf-friendly. We also wanted to be no further than six hours away from the kids. We looked in South and North Carolina as well as Virginia. We choose the Richmond, Virginia area.

Then, I would come solo to Richmond to look for a house. After finishing medical school, my son matched with Richmond, strengthening the bond to settle there.

Ultimately, I found a beautiful piece of land, and we decided to build. Many compromises had to be made because I had a champagne taste and a beer wallet! In the end, the house was built. My father-in-law had progressed so quickly with dementia that he went right to an assisted living facility when we moved in. We didn’t have him here long, and he just faded away. We briefly went back for his funeral.

We came, my son left! He first went to The Mayo System in Minnesota! I spent some time with him there, but as much as I love him, there was no way I could live in that cold! Fortunately, not too many years later, he returned to Virginia after a brief stint in Connecticut. He isn’t in this area but only a couple of hours away.

My daughter joined us here as well. She came in 2000 and lives only a few minutes away. I still have my NY accent. My son and daughter seemed to have neutralized their speech, and nobody immediately identifies them as Yankees!

The culture shock between New York and Virginia was more than I anticipated. It took me a very long time to get acclimated.