Going Greek

When I went to college, I was introduced to sororities. I checked them out and wasn’t really interested in joining. One of my married cousins ( about 25 years older than me) had a niece who attended my college. This niece was very active in what she called “the best sorority on campus.” I was told to go and check it out. Very best meant the most popular females. I met my so-called cousin for the first time. She told me I had to join and I didn’t have to do anything because I was a Legacy! That meant I was automatically in. Since I knew no one on campus, I thought, why not? I became part of the pledge class, never really befriended anyone there and never participated in any of their activities. In reality, I didn’t like any of them. I found them snotty and very entitled. So much for sororities. However, I learned to say the Greek alphabet forwards and backward! So, not a total loss.

When I moved to Virginia, I knew no one. After we moved in, I was anxious to find people I could hang out with and have a good time. The opportunity came when my husband wrenched his back badly, and I had to take him to a Physical Therapist for treatment. The owner of the practice and his wife were very welcoming. While he was receiving treatment, I would sit and talk to his wife. She was witty and very friendly. She invited me to her sorority! I thought she was kidding, but she was dead serious.

OK, what did I have to lose? I went to the next meeting, and a group of very nice ladies took this stuff very seriously.

Well, I needed friends, and they seemed nice enough, so within a couple of months, I joined their adult sorority.

They were indeed nice people. I enjoyed their games and activities, but there was something undercurrent. I was and will always be the outsider. I was Jewish.

At the same time, I joined the local group of Hadassah. I was a life member for years; my mother had done that, and in New York, we had a nice, lively group. I enjoyed some of the activities there, but I wasn’t terribly active. My life was too busy. Now, I had tons of time, but mainly, Hadassah was interested in fundraising and getting as much money out of you as possible. If you weren’t a major donor, then they wanted you to be a major organizer or director of different activities. It got to be too much. I believed in what they did but couldn’t afford to participate. I also learned they were quite intolerant of conflicting opinions. I was in the middle of two groups, diametrically opposed to each other. I couldn’t keep up the pace. Since the sorority was local and never seemed to siphon off my money, I stepped back from Hadassah and gave more time to the sorority women.

Another outsider joined. She and I seemed to see eye to eye. It took us a while to get to the crux of the matter; we were two liberals, and they were very conservative. She and I both had to quit. It wasn’t about the ladies; I still speak to some of them when we encounter each other.

My sleepover birthday party was one of the funniest things that happened with that group. I planned to have a dual party with the woman from the physical therapy practice. I was turning 55, and she was turning 50. We decided to have a sleepover at my house and invited all the “sisters” and any of their adult daughters. We had a pizza dinner and all kinds of snacks and desserts. We planned a chic flic to watch, and best of all, I hired a clairvoyant to come. She did large parties like this.

When she arrived, she saw about 25 ladies in their pajamas, sleeping bags all over the floor, and a decadent amount of treats.

As she started her show, she said, “You are not all here by accident. You have all been together in the past. Ah yes, you were part of Ghengis Kahn and his horde.” At that pronouncement, one of the women started to laugh. She tried so hard to stifle her laugh, but she was losing the fight. Someone took a pillow and tried to smother the laugh, but it was too late. It was contagious. This clairvoyant went on and on. I know she must have been embarrassed by the outpouring of laughter that grew and grew. She never flinched, though. She went on with her show. When she finished, she said goodbye and left. From that day forward, we would refer to each other as friends from our old country.

I think they would have preferred my sex toys! I wasn’t going there with this crowd.